"This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." - Dorothy Parker

Pins and Needles

I'm just coming off a high
Twice weekly her trade she'd ply.
Twelve needles she puts in place
Ones felt were mostly in my face.
A location there really bothered me
The one below my nose I could see.
That needle going in so far it hurt
My grimace to her was quite curt.
 She'd say I'm sorry but kept going
The crop of needle kept growing.
Lights out I'd lay there on the table
Breathing the only movement available.
Twenty minutes put me in a trance
I began to think I should take a stance
To escape from my oriental charmer
I'd fallen in love and couldn't harm her.
The combination of love and pain
Drove me to seek ways to gain,
Freedom from weekly appointments
By substituting pins for ointments.
That escape didn't work too well
And again I came under her spell,
Since love was the main ingredient
I chose a route quite expedient.
Marrying her was the best solution,
Though it quickly led to the dilution
Of my financial assets by daily drainage.
Does it matter, should I care at my age? 
Kept apart by a barrier of pins
We'd lie abed avoiding sins.
Thus we did not consummate
Her views she did not obfuscate.
Her only patient I'd become
My desire for love not welcome.
I guess I'd to say at this juncture
I'm not much in favor of acupuncture.

Douglas Evered